How to Have the Gay Conversation

I really do doubt if you can change any mind these days.  Older people are set in their ways and the younger people don’t have minds to change.  But every once in a while you can penetrate the dormant lump of grey matter, left by our atheistic educational system and make people consider that their view of the world is not all together sufficient to explain how things work.


Young people, now known as the ‘millennials’, are very temperamental.  They are waiting to go off.  They don’t debate or argue, they don’t ever use logic, especially when they can use emotion, they are simply programmed to react.  If they hear a tone they don’t like or even a word, they will explode, like a vested ISIS member when he sees a cartoon of Muhammed.   If you use a metaphor with a term they don’t like(see last sentence), they will explode.  If you say something that they heard someone say, that they think is cute or like for some other reason, they will explode.  If you make it seem like you are better than them in any way—you know the drill.  It’s really annoying but they love personal stories.

image_1435636947602The Situation:

Someone posts or says to you that they are so happy for their gay friend because they now have equality.  Or they are free to love whomever. . . or some such lie from the pit of hell.  First I guess you should calm down.  Anger can be a good motivator, but if you resolve to act out of love you should probably wait until you are not doing it out of anger.  What you can get away with is directly proportional to how well you know the person, I say push as much as you can.


The Tactic:

Questions are very powerful.  The  goal is dependent on the person.  For Christians you should try to get them to see the truth in Scripture.  Sure you will get all sorts of wacky interpretations , but if they claim to be a Christian you can let the Bible speak to them.  Ask questions about the definition of love and how it’s not about feelings, it’s about obedience(John 14-21-24).  There are plenty of verses about the wrongness of sodomy (I Corinthians 6:9, Romans 1, I Timothy 1:10, Jude 1:7, Mark 10-6-9) And don’t be afraid of the Old Testament (Genesis 13-19; Leviticus 18:22, 20:13-15) Also, don’t give into the “well the Old Testament also says ‘homosexuals should be stoned”, or whatever the verse.  If the verse they say is in the Bible, don’t disavow it.  It was there for a reason, it was a blessing to God’s people just like the rest of the Bible.  If understood in context you should absolutely believe it was true and appropriate, when given.  It might apply slightly different today, but don’t fear these verses or agree that they are wrong.  If you do you undermine your whole argument.  Study them out.

If the person is not a Christian, ask questions to undermine their source of authority.  Everyone has a source of authority, everyone believes in right and wrong, and everyone believes in forcing their views on everyone else.  That’s just the way God made us.  Though it is not fashionable to admit it these days.  For most people today their source of authority is themselves or what they feel or have determined with those feelings.  For some it’s a collective, things are right because the majority believes it, or because a group of scientists believe it, or something.  On homosexuality almost every majority be it tradition or actual votes, is strongly opposed.  Gay marriage goes down every time it’s voted on except for Main, Washington and Maryland. So ask questions to reveal what that authority is.  If it’s themselves then playfully threaten to steal from them, if one opinion is as good as another, how can they object.  They can’t criticize you for criticizing people.  They can’t make ultimate statements, because your beliefs and feelings are just as much of an authority as theirs. Watch for the inconsistencies because they will always be there.

If their authority is some sort of collective, list off the collectives that they might find evil.  Hitler was voted into power.  Most Germans had no problem with what happened.  Or maybe a tribe of cannibals, who think eating people you conquer is fine.  Or maybe just the Muhammedans and good old fashioned female circumcision.  This might generally lead to them being upset that you called them a Nazi, again the metaphors and logic are difficult to get across.

As Christians our authority comes from the Word of God, it is fixed because it is based on the character of God.  By believing it you are free to criticize other belief systems without hiding behind statements like “who are you to judge me” because the Bible tell you exactly who you are.  You are a child of God sent to be the light to this person.  You are free to believe in the punishment of evil, and actual justice.  Everyone else is just evolved slime trying to figure out why we are here, yet pretty sure it’s to get along and be at ‘peace’.  Very confusing, and they think Christianity takes a lot of faith.   How can they criticize anything, if it’s all about equality and getting along and ‘love’?  If you get them questioning the Bible, it will only be rebellion. Ask them “If Christianity is so wrong and God doesn’t exist, why are you so mad at him?”.  They know they have got nothing.  Josh MacDowell has lots of excellent material on the rock solid authoritative nature of the Bible.


Other directions:

There is no such thing as gay. There are actions that you do, some are fine and some are sin.  You are not the actions you do or your past.  This is a lie from Satan to trap people.  You can point out that the child molester thinks he has a disease too.  Or whatever other evil they would object to, I know there aren’t that many left.  Freedom comes from realizing that you are free to act apart from your lusts or fate or whatever.  You can choose a different life.  You don’t have to escape yourself by associating with some deviant community, you can escape into Jesus.  They don’t need to escape into some deviant behavior, they can escape by being reborn and casting their past life, and all their garbage at the cross of the Christ.


Many people who are actually a part of one of these debhilitating sins actually have traumatic stories.  Girls whose fathers abused them perpetuate further sin by seeking solace in women instead of men.  Or boys become just like their abusive father and become homosexuals as a sort of power trip.  But generally they accuse you of being abused and that’s how you ended up so close minded.  Accusations reveal a lot.


But after all this work, they might blow you off and never speak to you again.  Generally even if they do have an epiphany they won’t admit it.  So don’t give up, or think you are a failure.    Also, don’t be afraid that speaking up will affect your status, your job/business, your social life, or whatever.  God takes care of the birds, won’t he surely take care of you?  Fearing men instead of God is idolatry.  So get out there and shine the light.  If we don’t, who will?


Further Study:

This is a great seminary class on how to preach to the new generation.  But most of is it just basic rhetoric.  Lectures 24 and 25 lay out how to understand another perspective, which is very helpful here, when we have raised up a generation of fools in rebellion.


2 thoughts on “How to Have the Gay Conversation

  1. Tim Ellis

    I agree with your advice for how you should have this conversation with those who profess to be Christians, but I think that you should have extended the same advice to conversations with those who are non-believers as well. Present the Word of God to all whom you have this type of conversation with, on any sin for that matter, and then leave the rest up to the Holy Spirit. The foundation for any moral debate must be truth, which comes only from the Word of God. Thank God that we are not called to win people to Christ with our superior intellect alone!

    1. admin Post author

      I think it takes a little bit of knocking down the idols they rely on first, to show how precarious their position actually is. Like knocking Dagon over in I Samuel 5. You know, you need to law to show you how bad you are, before you can appreciate the grace of the cross.


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