I realize that I’m not a woman and I’m not even a cross dresser, but it seems to me that there is a lot more talk against mom shaming or female negativity, than there is mom shaming or negativity. It’s like the Fascists and the ‘Anti-Fascists’. There are 12 fascists in the country and 12,000 ‘Anti-Fascists’ who think they are bravely fighting a huge evil. Really everyone is against Fascism and Antifa is the real evil. I have seen women destroy each other for no reason. Petty envy, back biting, gossip, but groups of women are always talking about how beautiful the others are, even if they aren’t. They are always feeling bad because other ladies work harder, even though your grandma would be ashamed of all of you. So, I must conclude that the whole thing is really a justification for low standards, and doing what is right in your own eyes. (Too harsh? I realize that suggesting women can do anything wrong is the greatest evil in the world today. But God doesn’t care. So yell at Him.)
Sketch for La Charité. William Adolphe Bouguereau. Oil on Wood. c. 1872. Not quite as good as it could be.
And back to grandma because that is the important point. We are commanded to respect our elders. We have the basic level of the Ten Commandments, as they are expounded in the Old Testament and reiterated in the New Testament. Love God, do what he says, and love others, do what is best for them. This should guide our every action, generally, but some things, a lot of the details are up to you. Take this job or that job, unless one is working a pimp, neither is a sin. But when it comes to respecting our parents or elders, there is another level, which should guide our actions. Would your mother be embarrassed by how you dress, keep your house or raise your kids? Then you are probably disrespecting her. Would your father be embarrassed by the work you are doing? You are probably disrespecting him. I see far too many people my age reveling in lowering the standards of their parents. We worship youth and anything they choose to do, everything is a revolution.
When you make decisions in this world which your parents would make, you honor them, you give them glory, that is true respect. I understand that in a marriage you have two sets of parents behind the married couple. Which means there will be conflicting issues and not just where to celebrate Christmas. Most of the basic things which I have in mind here are pretty basic and I’m pretty sure both sets of parents wouldn’t have a problem with you acting more like Betty Crocker or whichever popular 50’s housewife. I realize things like birthing style, diaper choice, breast feeding regularity, and food are more sticky. Food, don’t get me started on the food, just do what your grandmother did and cut out two generations of rebellious fads, your ‘organic’ and your mother’s buy-a-box. But really there are a lot of areas where we could respect our elders better with food. Do you get your advice from your elders or some crazy blog? Do you try to find out what older people think or do you run for the nearest anti-Capitalist documentary?
There are some real moral issues as well. Your parents send you to a public school, which you may now realize is sin. Your parents went to a church which now preaches heresy. Older people are more set in their ways, deal with it. But talk to them, make them aware of your decision, that you considered them and that you believe you are morally required to go a different way. Older people are not perfect, but there is always a way to respect them, because God says so. And convincing them that you respect them while you are really going along with the latest fad of the world, is not respect either. Many parents defer to their children on things because that’s what everyone is doing. “Look my kid can work an iPhone they must be morally superior to me.” No!
And I guess I left the Scripture until last here, not sure what my mom would think of this. Anyway, Paul tells Titus about the relationship between older and younger women. He also gives commands about men but I just don’t see problems like that staring me in the face every day.
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. –Titus 2:3-6
When I was about eight years old, I started going hunting with my dad. He would say, “we are going to walk over that mountain over there”. I would reply “what?” because to me it seemed impossible. You just take one step after another and before you know it, you are there. Then you look back and realize it is an accomplishment and that you are more capable than you thought. This is the spirit we need to breathe back into our church and social media culture. We can do all things through God who gives us strength. And we have it a lot easier than our parents did. You can literally start a business, secure capital, advertise, sell and ship, all while breastfeeding in front of your computer. A Proverbs 31 woman from the comfort of your own home! You don’t have to can your own food, make your own clothes or build your own furniture, or wash your own diapers, all things my mother did while getting her masters. Machines or services do almost everything for us. And you really can’t do too much to love your children and love your husbands. There is nothing here about taking time for yourself or loving yourself first. The real temptation for our age is the sidelong glance. Peter said to Jesus “But what about him?” Jesus replied: “What is that to you? Follow me!” John 21
Do your neighbors have a better house? Who cares, are you loving your husband?
Do your neighbors spend time at the spa while you homeschool? Who cares, are you loving your children?
Do your neighbors glorify complaining and low standards online? Who cares, are you self-controlled?
Do your neighbors have an exciting career? Who cares, are you remaining pure?
Do your neighbors go on more vacations? Who cares are you working at home as unto the Lord?
Do your neighbors have better clothes? Who cares are you kind?
Do the neighbors have a better car? Who cares are you submissive to your husband?
Are any of these things preventing you from doing what the verse says? Sell them!
That last part of the passage, is the gong which should be ringing in our ears. “That the Word of God may not be reviled”. If you don’t respect your elders and do these things, you mock God’s word and encourage your neighbors to do the same. They may joke about you being chained to the stove or mock you for having more than two kids, but deep down they know. Because that’s the way God made the world. Doing these things is preaching the Gospel, it is spreading truth. So don’t get sucked into the culture of lowering standards. Preach the Gospel everyday by putting on your makeup, cleaning the house making the perfect dinner for your husband, or sacrificing a night on the town for your children.